AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
