you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
