Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
