She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
