Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
