I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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