i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
