forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
