she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
