hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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