you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
