Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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