i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
