I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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