they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
