they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Every concussion has its silver lining
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
