i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
