apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
