super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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