Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
