why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
