that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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