U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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