I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
