I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
