I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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