going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
