Welp...herpes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
