Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
