He asked to "fluff my boner.."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
