I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
