So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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