I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
