Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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