I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
