you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
