i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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