Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
