You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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