I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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