How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
