Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
