dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
