I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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