Barsexuality is the new black.
the day after is always just damage control
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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