good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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