tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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