Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
