just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
