There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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