Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
